1. Smoke weed. Do whatever comes naturally.
2. Switch the sheets on your beds while she/he is at class.
3. Twitch a lot.
4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep.
5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.
8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.
9. Speak in tongues.
10. Move you roommate's personal effects around. Start subtlely. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he owns to the ceiling.
11. Walk and talk backwards.
12. Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all. Stack the cans in the middle of your room. Number them.
13. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."
16. Collect all your urine in a small jug.
17. Chain yourself to your roommate's bed. Get him/her to bring you food.
18. Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are.
19. Ask your roommate if your family can move in "just for a couple of weeks."
21. Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.
22. Eat glass.
23. Smoke ballpoint pens.
24. Smile. All the time.
25. Collect dog shit in baby food jars. Sort them according to what you think the dog ate.
26. Burn all your waste paper while eying your roommate suspiciously.
27. Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho Hos in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that she/he reimburse you.
28. Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of grievances.
30. Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned, and then look away quickly.
31. Dye all your underwear lime green.
32. Spill a lot of beer on his/her bed. Swim.
33. Bye three loaves of stale bread. Grow mold in the closet.
34. Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate's closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.
35. Remove your door. Ship it to your roommate's parents (postage due).
37. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up. Announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.
38. Array thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Refuse to use them.
39. Paint your half of the room black.
40. Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with "Didja ever wonder why...." Be creative.
41. Shave one eyebrow.
42. Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently.
43. Put horseradish in your shoes.
44. Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall. Complain loudly that you can never find the book that you want.
45. Always flush the toilet three times.
46. Subsist entirely on pickles for a week. Vomit often.
50. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up.
Showing posts with label how to?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how to?. Show all posts
July 30, 2010
May 18, 2010
How to tell if a girl is NOT interested in you
This is not a very tough question. It can be a tough question too, depending on the girl. Everyone has a different character, thus it’s impossible to know if the girl is interested in you by just following the points below.
If she’s not interested in you…
* She NEVER initiates contact with you, be it on MSN or sms.
* She is uncomfortable with light touching for eg. playful punching or nudging.
* She cancels dates with you without proposing a make-up date.
* She does not even agree to go out with you and does not suggest alternative timings.
* She pours out all her emotional baggage to you. (When not together yet.)
* She takes a long time to reply your sms or may not even reply.
* She playfully call you her brother.
* She talks about other guys to you.
* She is indifferent towards you.
* No matter how hard u try to impress her, she just ignore u.
* She never want to look at your eyes, or stay any minute with u and would find uncomfortable with u around.
* She will not engage in open communication with you
* She makes up stories for not wanting to meet you
* She keeps things about herself from you.
* She is self absorbed and preoccupied with her own life which does not include you.
* She rarely initiates a call or sms to you.
* When you ask her out for a date, she’ll ask, “who’s going?”
* You buy expensive gifts for the girl, she thanks you very politely and tells you not to spend so much money on her or that there is no need to even buy her a birthday gift.
* If you invite her to concert or expensive dinners, she tells you that she is not free almost immediately.
That’s almost all, but this doesn’t apply to all girls. You must know that some girls are generally too shy to express their love for you.
Guys, although it’s the 21st century, I feel it’s only right for the guy to take initiative.
Whats your opinion? anyway i give up already with girls...maybe next time..
If she’s not interested in you…
* She NEVER initiates contact with you, be it on MSN or sms.
* She is uncomfortable with light touching for eg. playful punching or nudging.
* She cancels dates with you without proposing a make-up date.
* She does not even agree to go out with you and does not suggest alternative timings.
* She pours out all her emotional baggage to you. (When not together yet.)
* She takes a long time to reply your sms or may not even reply.
* She playfully call you her brother.
* She talks about other guys to you.
* She is indifferent towards you.
* No matter how hard u try to impress her, she just ignore u.
* She never want to look at your eyes, or stay any minute with u and would find uncomfortable with u around.
* She will not engage in open communication with you
* She makes up stories for not wanting to meet you
* She keeps things about herself from you.
* She is self absorbed and preoccupied with her own life which does not include you.
* She rarely initiates a call or sms to you.
* When you ask her out for a date, she’ll ask, “who’s going?”
* You buy expensive gifts for the girl, she thanks you very politely and tells you not to spend so much money on her or that there is no need to even buy her a birthday gift.
* If you invite her to concert or expensive dinners, she tells you that she is not free almost immediately.
That’s almost all, but this doesn’t apply to all girls. You must know that some girls are generally too shy to express their love for you.
Guys, although it’s the 21st century, I feel it’s only right for the guy to take initiative.
Whats your opinion? anyway i give up already with girls...maybe next time..
May 9, 2010
Top 10: Ways To Be A Real Man (only for man)
No.10 - Learn to talk the talk
If you're tired of your thoughts falling on deaf ears, ameliorate your speech with as much literature as you can eyeball. Novels, biographies, magazines, and newspapers will help you build a more developed vocabulary.
No.9 - Get the news
Short of reading the news, there is a lazy man's solution: watch news channels. The talking heads that feature prominently on 24-hour news networks are typically very polished and have a superior command of the language you'd like to speak better. Listening to them frequently will help you do just that.
While you're at it, forget lame catchphrases like "it's all good," "don't go there" and "you da man"/ "dei macha" from your vocabulary altogether. These buzz sayings had a place in the pop culture lexicon of the late '90s, but have since been exhausted by mall rats and MTV VJs.
No.8 - Develop your voice
While the tone and pitch of your voice are mostly out of your control, we have it on good authority that a squeaky voice isn't an aphrodisiac. If you tend to hit the high notes, try imitating Harrison Ford and Clint Eastwood. Now those guys can talk.
No.7 - Hit the gym
Maintain some level of physical fitness. Don't have the time to be a chiseled underwear model? Who does? You don't need all that tone and bulk to be her Adonis. Sticking to a workout program designed by somebody who spends their days racking your weights will make you look better in clothes -- the first step in getting a woman out of hers. Furthermore, your general disposition will surge as endorphins are released through routine exercise. Your performance on the job, in the bedroom and wherever else you do your thing will also get a boost because of increased motor coordination and mental clarity. There are no downsides to being physically fit except for the discipline required to maintain it.
No.6 - Foot the bill
When on a date, always insist on picking up the tab. Despite a feeble grab for her Kate Spade purse, she really has very little intention of paying. This delicate scenario is best handled with just three clutch words: "I got it."
No.5 - Forget the past
Don't inquire about your girlfriend's past. That kind of knowledge could send you into a tailspin of doubt and jealousy. No matter who she is, there are skeletons in her closet. Want to know about the time four frat boys ran a train on your special little angel? Didn't think so. Refrain from broaching the subject altogether and concentrate on what really matters: you and her in this moment.
No.4 - Don't write anything
Love letters? Big mistake. Women want men, not carbon copies of themselves.
No.3 - Drink hard
drink like a man.
No.2 - Shake (hands) with authority
Your handshake gives you away. So what does yours say about you? Firm and assertive or weak and submissive? Never has a first impression faux pas been more telling than interlocking hands with a dead fish. Right away your future employer or father-in-law will be left to wonder if there is any substance behind that loosey-goosey grip.
No.1 - Look 'em in the eye
If etiquette were a family, then eye contact would be the first cousin to the handshake. Not maintaining it is equivalent to a confession of guilt. No one will actually come out and accuse you of being culpable, but if you can't look somebody directly in the eye, they'll reason that you have something to hide. You may be of the noblest intentions, but if you can't stand cornea to cornea with a man, your integrity will be in doubt.
Lay any objections to rest by making a strong handshake and knowing gaze your standard operating procedure
May 6, 2010
How to set up your own blog?
#1
Decide what the focus of your blog will be. If you have a special interest you love to spend time doing, this could be the focus of your blog. I blog about news, health and entertainment, but most people have a more specific focus, which optimizes earning potential if you're interested in making money on your blog.
#Step 2
Establish a blog by using Google "Blogger,http://www.blogger.com/. It's best to acquire a unique url as well so that your web address is a standalone presence. You can visit my blog at http://mamalado.blogspot.com/ to see what I mean. I use blogger, but I have a unique url which is my http://mamalado.blogspot.com/ address.
#Step 3
Once your blog address on the web is established, you're ready to post your first blog entry. Use a light, humorous, conversational tone; readers love a laid-back style and they love to laugh! Not funny? Add a 'joke of the week' or 'funny link of the week' to entertain your readers, or have them submit funny stories about your topic.
#Step 4
Write at least once weekly. Blog posts should range in word count from a few hundred words to NO MORE than 1000 words, which is actually pretty long for a blog post. Readers like short, interesting posts.
#Step 5
Spread the word! Send an invitation email to your friends and family and ask them to check out your new blog! Also, visit websites that are similar in nature to your topic and post a comment asking people to visit your blog. Use social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter or Myspace to promote your blog posts.
#Step 6
Make money! There are many ways to make money blogging- just Google those three words and you'll get a ton of results. One of the easiest ways to make money is to install Google Adsense, which is the little column of ads you see on the side of the screen while you're on a website. You'll need an account with Google to install this, but it's easy to use.
Decide what the focus of your blog will be. If you have a special interest you love to spend time doing, this could be the focus of your blog. I blog about news, health and entertainment, but most people have a more specific focus, which optimizes earning potential if you're interested in making money on your blog.
#Step 2
Establish a blog by using Google "Blogger,http://www.blogger.com/. It's best to acquire a unique url as well so that your web address is a standalone presence. You can visit my blog at http://mamalado.blogspot.com/ to see what I mean. I use blogger, but I have a unique url which is my http://mamalado.blogspot.com/ address.
#Step 3
Once your blog address on the web is established, you're ready to post your first blog entry. Use a light, humorous, conversational tone; readers love a laid-back style and they love to laugh! Not funny? Add a 'joke of the week' or 'funny link of the week' to entertain your readers, or have them submit funny stories about your topic.
#Step 4
Write at least once weekly. Blog posts should range in word count from a few hundred words to NO MORE than 1000 words, which is actually pretty long for a blog post. Readers like short, interesting posts.
#Step 5
Spread the word! Send an invitation email to your friends and family and ask them to check out your new blog! Also, visit websites that are similar in nature to your topic and post a comment asking people to visit your blog. Use social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter or Myspace to promote your blog posts.
#Step 6
Make money! There are many ways to make money blogging- just Google those three words and you'll get a ton of results. One of the easiest ways to make money is to install Google Adsense, which is the little column of ads you see on the side of the screen while you're on a website. You'll need an account with Google to install this, but it's easy to use.