April 30, 2010
iron man 2008
iron man 2008. download and enjoy.
http://delta.videofriender.com/videos/0043/0022/4805fa173782043facae01adb7c1ce68e5c68ffc.mkv
Iron man 2 review
Finally I managed to watch this awesome movie and as i promised I am writing my review about the movie. The movie was breathtaking from the beginning up to the end.
Six months after he's revealed his identity to the world, Tony Stark a.k.a. Iron Man is more of a rock star than ever before, but he also finds himself the target of a number of different factions: the government wants to take away his armor, deeming it to be a dangerous weapon; Stark's main competitor Justin Hammer is trying to get his hands on Stark's Iron Man designs as well; a Russian physicist known as Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke) seeks to get revenge on Stark for sins committed by his father; his best friend Lt. Col. James Rhodes (Don Cheadle) is unhappy with Tony's partying ways; and Stark's shapely new paralegal Natalie Rushman (Scarlett Johansson) is causing friction between Tony and his beleaguered assistant Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow).
Scarlett Johansson was really hot.Mickey Rourke is really awesome and cool with his acting and tattoos.go and watch the movie.
my review: 9/10
full review: http://www.comingsoon.net/news/reviewsnews.php?id=65501
April 29, 2010
How to train your dragon
super cute movie
my rating: 10/10
download movie: http://delta.videofriender.com/videos/0050/0295/b5b0dc407a0714c63ba713e095d590f8ee963f3f.avi
Quarantine
awesome movie
my rating: 9/10
http://delta.videofriender.com/videos/0011/0202/c38cb8de975c221e228b090405a0196533bd399b.divx
Shutter island
haven't watched it yet.
Plot Summary for Shutter Island It's 1954, and up-and-coming U.S. marshal Teddy Daniels is assigned to investigate the disappearance of a patient from Boston's Shutter Island Ashecliffe Hospital. He's been pushing for an assignment on the island for personal reasons, but before long he wonders whether he hasn't been brought there as part of a twisted plot by hospital doctors whose radical treatments range from unethical to illegal to downright sinister. Teddy's shrewd investigating skills soon provide a promising lead, but the hospital refuses him access to records he suspects would break the case wide open. As a hurricane cuts off communication with the mainland, more dangerous criminals "escape" in the confusion, and the puzzling, improbable clues multiply, Teddy begins to doubt everything - his memory, his partner, even his own sanity
http://delta.videofriender.com/videos/0050/0027/2000de4e254c24f242e974b99e237dd7132b18a7.mkv
300
nothing to be said, superb movie. I watched it again after some time.maybe you guys want to watch it again.
http://delta.videofriender.com/videos/0023/0291/78d2ef267ef97af3eba84a856fb05cb1b74a8f67.divx
Clash of the titans
The movie will definitely disappoint a lot of people. All the huge trailer showed and in the end we have one total spoilt and very predictable movie
my rating: 3/10
http://delta.videofriender.com/videos/0050/0815/587c8419eb87c433ab2198191a2a38efd13c0afd.mkv
The crazies
haven't watched it....enjoy..heard its nice..
http://delta.videofriender.com/videos/0051/0202/e92968b78bd598f35559da9788878aed45f716b1.avi
Breakthrough cancer therapy Provenge
WASHINGTON – A first-of-a-kind prostate cancer treatment that uses the body's immune system to fight the disease received federal approval Thursday, offering an important alternative to more taxing treatments like chemotherapy.
Dendreon Corp.'s Provenge vaccine trains the immune system to fight tumors. It's called a "vaccine" even though it treats disease rather than prevents it.
Doctors have been trying to develop such a therapy for decades, and Provenge is the first to win approval from the Food and Drug Administration.
"The big news here is that this is the first immunotherapy to win approval, and I suspect within five to ten years immunotherapies will be a big part of cancer therapy in general," said Dr. Phil Kantoff, an oncologist at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute who helped run the studies of Provenge.
Currently doctors treat cancer by surgically removing tumors, attacking them with chemotherapy drugs or blasting them with radiation. Provenge offers an important fourth approach by directing the body's natural defense mechanisms against the disease.
The treatment is intended for prostate cancer that has spread elsewhere in the body and is not responding to hormone therapy.
Medical specialists hailed the approval as an important milestone, but stressed it will serve as an addition to current medical practice, not a replacement.
"This is just one step in a new pathway for treating patients," said Dr. Simon Hall, chairman of urology at Mt. Sinai Hospital. "We have to make them realize this isn't a cure, it's very variable."
Company studies showed that taking Provenge added four months to the lives of men with advanced prostate cancer.
That may not sound like a lot, but it is longer than the three months afforded by Taxotere, the only chemotherapy approved for men in this situation. Doctors hope for even greater benefit if they give the drug earlier in the course of the disease.
Dendreon said Thursday the drug will cost $93,000 per patient.Dendreon shares jumped 19 percent to new highs ahead of the news, rising to an all-time high of $47.32. The company spent more than 15 years developing and testing Provenge.
Each regimen of Provenge must to tailored to the immune system of the patient using a time-consuming formulation process.
Doctors collect special blood cells from each patient that help the immune system recognize cancer as a threat. The cells are mixed with a protein found on most prostate cancer cells and another substance to rev up the immune system. The resulting "vaccine" is given back to the patient as three infusions two weeks apart.
Side effects of Provenge are relatively mild, such as chills, fatigue, fever, and headache. By comparison, side effects of chemotherapy typically include hair loss, nausea, anemia and diarrhea.
Dendreon Corp.'s Provenge vaccine trains the immune system to fight tumors. It's called a "vaccine" even though it treats disease rather than prevents it.
Doctors have been trying to develop such a therapy for decades, and Provenge is the first to win approval from the Food and Drug Administration.
"The big news here is that this is the first immunotherapy to win approval, and I suspect within five to ten years immunotherapies will be a big part of cancer therapy in general," said Dr. Phil Kantoff, an oncologist at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute who helped run the studies of Provenge.
Currently doctors treat cancer by surgically removing tumors, attacking them with chemotherapy drugs or blasting them with radiation. Provenge offers an important fourth approach by directing the body's natural defense mechanisms against the disease.
The treatment is intended for prostate cancer that has spread elsewhere in the body and is not responding to hormone therapy.
Medical specialists hailed the approval as an important milestone, but stressed it will serve as an addition to current medical practice, not a replacement.
"This is just one step in a new pathway for treating patients," said Dr. Simon Hall, chairman of urology at Mt. Sinai Hospital. "We have to make them realize this isn't a cure, it's very variable."
Company studies showed that taking Provenge added four months to the lives of men with advanced prostate cancer.
That may not sound like a lot, but it is longer than the three months afforded by Taxotere, the only chemotherapy approved for men in this situation. Doctors hope for even greater benefit if they give the drug earlier in the course of the disease.
Dendreon said Thursday the drug will cost $93,000 per patient.Dendreon shares jumped 19 percent to new highs ahead of the news, rising to an all-time high of $47.32. The company spent more than 15 years developing and testing Provenge.
Each regimen of Provenge must to tailored to the immune system of the patient using a time-consuming formulation process.
Doctors collect special blood cells from each patient that help the immune system recognize cancer as a threat. The cells are mixed with a protein found on most prostate cancer cells and another substance to rev up the immune system. The resulting "vaccine" is given back to the patient as three infusions two weeks apart.
Side effects of Provenge are relatively mild, such as chills, fatigue, fever, and headache. By comparison, side effects of chemotherapy typically include hair loss, nausea, anemia and diarrhea.
green zone (updated)
Finally i managed to finish up watching this boring movie. I hate to say it but i will say i like the real scenario that was potrayed in the movie but the dialogue and the shaky camera plus with complicated storyline really kept me wondering what actually was happening for every five minutes. Maybe the movie is not that suitable for me though.i will do less thinking when i watch a movie because i spend most of my time thinking when working. If you like to think a lot and like complicated stuff, then greenzone will be best for you.
my rating: 3/10
I am going to hate this movie because I was so bored watching the movie and strained my eyes a lot. When i decided to stretch myself and took my eyeglasses and held it up with my hand, it went and hit my ceiling fan(i know it was a stupid thing to do). My eyeglasses is now broken. I don't want to blame myself for the broken eyeglasses and that is why I decided to blame this movie...:( The first thing that ran in my mind was how am I going to watch Iron man 2 today without eyeglasses. Luckily, i have extra pair of glasses or not i am going to curse myself throughout the day.
http://iota.videofriender.com/videos/0049/0988/7667d89423171e857bedad234cb9e9a9604c5b65.mkv
April 28, 2010
Ice asteroids likely source of Earth's water: study
PARIS (AFP) – Astronomers have for the first time detected ice and organic compounds on an asteroid, a pair of landmark studies released on Wednesday says.
The discovery bolsters the theory that comets and asteroids crashing into Earth nearly four billion years ago seeded the planet with water and carbon-based molecules, both essential ingredients for life.
Working separately, two teams of scientists using NASA's Infrared Telescope Facility in Hawaii found that the 24 Themis, which orbits the Sun between Mars and Jupiter, is literally covered in a thin coating of frost.
It had long been suspected that the massive space rocks that bombarded our planet after the formation of the solar system contained frozen water, but the two studies, published in Nature, provide the first hard evidence.
Still, a mystery remained: How could frozen water persist over billions of years on an asteroid hot enough to vapourise surface ice?
Only if that layer of frost were continually replenished by the slow release of water vapour released from ice in the asteroid's interior, the researchers reasoned.
In other words, 24 Themis -- some 200 kilometres (125 miles) in diameter -- almost certainly contains far more water locked in its minerals than anyone suspected.
The findings also blur the distinction between rocky asteroids, once thought to be too close to the Sun to contain water, and comets, composed of much the same stuff along with ice and dust.
Comets form their signature tails when ice melts during the phase of orbit that brings them closest to the Sun.
"We had previously thought that only the comets could have brought a lot of water to Earth," said Andrew Rivkin, lead author of one of the studies and researcher at John Hopkins University in Laurel, Maryland.
"But we now have more reason to think that the asteroid impacts may also have brought a significant amount, especially if each one might have 20 to 30 percent water," he said in an email exchange.
"Much more water could have come in from asteroids than we thought."
Rivkin's team observed 24 Themis on seven dates from 2002 to 2008, analysing various wavelengths of reflected sunlight to determine the composition of the surface.
The study turned up a good match for water ice, with a modest helping of organic -- that is, carbon-containing -- material.
In a separate study, researchers led by Humberto Campins of the University of Central Florida arrived at the same conclusion using another technique.
"Knowing that Themis rotates once every 8.37 hours, they timed their observations to obtain spectra for the asteroid at four points in its rotation, creating a crude surface map," said Henry Hsieh, an astrophysicist at Queen's University in Belfast.
Not only did they find ice on the asteroid, they found that it was evenly distributed across its entire surface.
Taken together, the studies provide an unexpectedly window onto key aspects of our early Solar System, which came into being some 4.5 billion years ago.
"Our discoveries show that some objects can remain in the asteroid belt more or less unchanged since their formation," Rivkin said.
"We no longer have to infer the composition of ancient asteroid water from hydrated materials -- we can study the water directly because it is still around today," Hsieh noted in a commentary, also in Nature.
While life-giving water and carbon molecules are present on the asteroid, other factors will have discouraged new life forms emerging, Rivkin said.
"The lack of liquid water and an atmosphere, and the presence of very strong ultraviolet light from the Sun -- screened out by our atmosphere -- are all factors we think work against the formation of life," he said.
Shooting of teen
KUALA LUMPUR: Only one policeman fired shots during the incident in Shah Alam that took the life of 15-year-old Aminulrasyid Amzah, Selangor police chief Deputy Comm Datuk Khalid Abu Bakar said.
Aminul was shot dead when he allegedly tried to reverse the car he was driving into policemen, who had stopped the vehicle in Section 11 in Shah Alam, near here.
This happened around 2am, after Aminul had sped off and ran several red lights before being stopped by patrol cars.
His friend escaped on foot while Aminul allegedly tried to reverse his car into the policemen, in his bid to escape.One of the policemen fired four shots, one of which killed Aminul.
Meanwhile, Women, Family and Community Development Minister Datuk Seri Shahrizat Abdul Jalil said all those entrusted with a firearm – enforcement personnel or licensed holders – should only use their weapons as a last resort and even then, only in self-defence.
She said she could not see any reason why anyone should open fire if their own lives were not in danger.
"A young teenager has been killed in this incident and this is a tragedy.
"Regardless whether it is negligience by the family, that the boy had no licence, or that he was afraid of being checked by the police, extra caution should be practised in the usage of firearms.
"Those licensed to possess firearms must follow standard operating procedures. Opening fire must only be as a last resort and in self-defence," she told reporters at the lobby of Parliament house Wednesday.
Shahrizat said she would ask that a welfare officer be on the special panel set up by the Home Ministry to investigate the incident to enable her ministry to follow the case closely as the victim was a child. The special panel is headed by Deputy Home Minister Datuk Abu Seman Yusop.
There is a need to put camera at the dashboard of police cars nowadays. No one knows what actually happened. By the way, how the police ended up using guns if they can't even aim properly towards the car's tyre within the range of lets say 2 metres? I will put the blame on both sides but the killing should not ever taken place together with the killing of few people by the police that never caught this much attention for the past 15 years- mamalado
In order to be a true American
An Indian migrated to America , and moved into an American neighbourhood;
His American neighbour went next door to wish him welcome.He was shocked to see the man from India in his nice backyard chasing ten chickens around like mad. "Must be an Indian custom," he thought to himself.
Deciding he could put off the welcome till a later date, he went home.
The next day, he decided he was going to welcome the Indian man again.
When he looked through his window, he saw the Indian man urinate into a cup and drink it. "Must be an Indian custom," he thought to himself. Deciding he could put off the welcome till the next day, he went on with other stuff.
The third day, he was determined to welcome the Indian man. At his gate, he saw the Indian man with his ear pressed against a cow's big fat butt.
Seeing this, he became disgusted and went up to the Indian man.
"I'm sorry sir, I did want to wish you a warm welcome, but I cannot stand your crazy Indian customs!" He yelled at the Indian .
The Indian looked confused and answered. "Sorry sir, I think you are mistaken. These are actually American customs. I was told, that in order to be a true American, you have to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bullshit.
His American neighbour went next door to wish him welcome.He was shocked to see the man from India in his nice backyard chasing ten chickens around like mad. "Must be an Indian custom," he thought to himself.
Deciding he could put off the welcome till a later date, he went home.
The next day, he decided he was going to welcome the Indian man again.
When he looked through his window, he saw the Indian man urinate into a cup and drink it. "Must be an Indian custom," he thought to himself. Deciding he could put off the welcome till the next day, he went on with other stuff.
The third day, he was determined to welcome the Indian man. At his gate, he saw the Indian man with his ear pressed against a cow's big fat butt.
Seeing this, he became disgusted and went up to the Indian man.
"I'm sorry sir, I did want to wish you a warm welcome, but I cannot stand your crazy Indian customs!" He yelled at the Indian .
The Indian looked confused and answered. "Sorry sir, I think you are mistaken. These are actually American customs. I was told, that in order to be a true American, you have to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bullshit.
April 27, 2010
Face/Off
Can you remember John Trovolta's and Nicholas Cage's movie Face/Off(1997)? It was a movie back then but now it is a reality.
MADRID – A team of surgeons has carried out the world's first full-face transplant on a young Spanish farmer unable to breathe or eat on his own since accidentally shooting himself in the face five years ago
The Spanish patient, who was not identified, now has a completely new face from his hairline down and only one visible scar, which looks like a wrinkle running across his neck, said Barret, who headed the 30-member surgical team.
Face transplants in the real world have gained acceptance since the first partial transplant almost five years ago in France. Patients don't look like the dead people whose skin and facial features they now live with. And skeptical bioethicists and doctors groups have warmed to the idea for patients who have tried reconstructive surgery with little success.
There have been 10 partial transplants worldwide, including in the United States, China and elsewhere in Spain, but this is the first full face transplant, Barret said.
The Spanish operation is similar to a near-total face transplant carried out by a team led by Dr. Maria Siemionow in 2008 in Cleveland, on a woman who was also shot in the face.
But the Spanish case "seems to us to be more complex," said Neil Huband, a spokesman for the UK Facial Transplantation Research Team, based at the Royal Free Hospital in London.
Barret would give no details about the donor except to say that doctors try to choose donors of similar weight, height, facial measurements and skin tone as the recipient.
Recipients run the risk of deadly complications and must take immune-suppressing drugs for the rest of their lives to prevent organ rejection, raising their odds of cancer and many other problems.
Photos not released-mamalado
Funny exam answers
I was marking my students biology papers and a lot of things caught my attention.
What is the advantage of rod cells (cells in eyes that can detect black and white) in dogs?
My student answered so that the dog can see ghosts at night time
What is the condition of ovum being fertilised by a lot of sperms?
Instead of polyspermy, the student answered sperm jam.
Where do you get the further information regarding ethical value of human cell cloning?
I will look the answers by asking someone that knows about religion and if it possible i will try to seek my answers from the God.
What is the limitation of using quadrat sampling for determining population size of snails?
The area that should be selected must be free from trucks and lorry because the area and the snail will get damaged. If the drivers are going to stop everytime they pass by the snails, it will be years then to finish up the sampling.
The statement by nancy is wrong. Why did you come into this conclusion?
Because she is a woman
Why there is formation of different species happens when there is speciation?
because god made it that way.
These are all those funny answers that i can remember-mamalado
What is the advantage of rod cells (cells in eyes that can detect black and white) in dogs?
My student answered so that the dog can see ghosts at night time
What is the condition of ovum being fertilised by a lot of sperms?
Instead of polyspermy, the student answered sperm jam.
Where do you get the further information regarding ethical value of human cell cloning?
I will look the answers by asking someone that knows about religion and if it possible i will try to seek my answers from the God.
What is the limitation of using quadrat sampling for determining population size of snails?
The area that should be selected must be free from trucks and lorry because the area and the snail will get damaged. If the drivers are going to stop everytime they pass by the snails, it will be years then to finish up the sampling.
The statement by nancy is wrong. Why did you come into this conclusion?
Because she is a woman
Why there is formation of different species happens when there is speciation?
because god made it that way.
These are all those funny answers that i can remember-mamalado
April 25, 2010
Aliens may exist but contact would hurt
Stephen Hawking is one of the smartest scientist in the world. He looks 'senget' because of he has a neuro-muscular dystrophy that is related to amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS). In simple terms, he has a motor neuron disease.
The physicist issues a dire warning to mankind in a new documentary: Don't look for alien life because you may not like what you find.
"I imagine they might exist in massive ships, having used up all the resources from their home planet," he said.
"If aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn't turn out well for the Native Americans," said the astrophysicist in a new television series, according to British media reports.
"Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonize whatever planets they can reach."
On the probability of alien life existing, he says: "To my mathematical brain, the numbers alone make thinking about aliens perfectly rational.
"The real challenge is to work out what aliens might actually be like."
Glowing squid-like creatures, herds of herbivores that can hang onto a cliff face and bright yellow predators that kill their prey with stinging tails are among the creatures that stalk the scientist's fantastical cosmos.
Mankind has already made a number of attempts to contact extraterrestrial civilisations.
In 2008, American space agency NASA beamed the Beatles song "Across the Universe" into deep space to send a message of peace to any alien that happens to be in the region of Polaris -- also known as the North Star -- in 2439.
But the history of humanity's efforts to contact aliens stretches back some years.
The US probes Pioneer 10 and 11 were launched in 1972 and 1973 bearing plaques of a naked man and woman and symbols seeking to convey the positions of the Earth and the Sun.
Voyager 1 and 2, launched in 1977, each carry a gold-plated copper phonogram disk with recordings of sounds and images on Earth.
I can't wait for the series in discovery channel asia-mamalado
Foreign views of the Hulu Selangor By Election
Posted by: zakimazlan http://blog.thestar.com.my/
I quote this from the Yahoo! news today (http://malaysia.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20100425/tap-oukwd-uk-malaysia-politics-185f4fe.html). Read the one in bold!
Prior to Sunday the Front had lost seven out of nine parliamentary and state by-elections after stumbling to its worst ever results in national and state polls in 2008 when it lost its two-thirds parliamentary majority for the first time.
Najib took office in April last year and has pledged to reinvigorate a country that has lost out to Indonesia and Thailand in the race for foreign investment.
After the elections and as the global financial crisis hit Asia's third most-export dependent economy, $61 billion in investment fled the country in 2008 and 2009, according to official data.
Najib has pledged economic reforms to win back investment by dismantling some of the privileges enjoyed by Malays that include preferential company ownership rights, cheap loans and access to higher education.
However, policy flip-flops on ending fuel subsidies and introducing a goods and services tax to shore up public finances at a time when the budget deficit hit a 22-year high of 6.4 per cent of gross domestic product have further unnerved investors.
The Hulu Selangor campaign was characterised by attacks on the character of the opposition candidate, a former law minister and a Muslim who was accused of drinking alcohol, and by handouts worth thousands of dollars to voters from Najib.
Despite the narrow government win, the opposition, led by former deputy prime minister Anwar Ibrahim, will also come under scrutiny at a time when Anwar is facing charges of sodomy in a case that could end his political career if he is found guilty.
I quote this from the Yahoo! news today (http://malaysia.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20100425/tap-oukwd-uk-malaysia-politics-185f4fe.html). Read the one in bold!
Prior to Sunday the Front had lost seven out of nine parliamentary and state by-elections after stumbling to its worst ever results in national and state polls in 2008 when it lost its two-thirds parliamentary majority for the first time.
Najib took office in April last year and has pledged to reinvigorate a country that has lost out to Indonesia and Thailand in the race for foreign investment.
After the elections and as the global financial crisis hit Asia's third most-export dependent economy, $61 billion in investment fled the country in 2008 and 2009, according to official data.
Najib has pledged economic reforms to win back investment by dismantling some of the privileges enjoyed by Malays that include preferential company ownership rights, cheap loans and access to higher education.
However, policy flip-flops on ending fuel subsidies and introducing a goods and services tax to shore up public finances at a time when the budget deficit hit a 22-year high of 6.4 per cent of gross domestic product have further unnerved investors.
The Hulu Selangor campaign was characterised by attacks on the character of the opposition candidate, a former law minister and a Muslim who was accused of drinking alcohol, and by handouts worth thousands of dollars to voters from Najib.
Despite the narrow government win, the opposition, led by former deputy prime minister Anwar Ibrahim, will also come under scrutiny at a time when Anwar is facing charges of sodomy in a case that could end his political career if he is found guilty.
Major earthquake hits off Taiwan coast
TAIPEI: The U.S. Geological Survey says a 6.9 magnitude earthquake has struck off the southeast coast of Taiwan.
The agency says the quake hit at 10:59 a.m. local time (0259 GMT) Monday, 195 miles (295 kilometers) off the southern Taiwan city of Taitung.
Taiwan's Central Weather Bureau says no tsunami warning has been issued.
The agency says the quake hit at 10:59 a.m. local time (0259 GMT) Monday, 195 miles (295 kilometers) off the southern Taiwan city of Taitung.
Taiwan's Central Weather Bureau says no tsunami warning has been issued.
barisan won
The Barisan Nasional has recaptured the Hulu Selangor parliamentary seat which was won by PKR in 2008. Its candidate, MIC information chief P. Kamalanathan, beat PKR candidate Datuk Zaid Ibrahim by 1,725 votes. Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak said the victory in Hulu Selangor has put Barisan Nasional on the right track to win back Selangor in the next general election.
Amitabh Bachchan reveals liver trouble
NEW DELHI: India's megastar Amitabh Bachchan has revealed to his fans that he is suffering from liver cirrhosis that was caused by a blood transfusion he underwent in the 80s.
He was badly injured while filming the Hindi movie, "Coolie", and needed blood transfusion to save his life.
The actor was given blood from an unknown donor infected with the Australian antigen Hepatitis.
He said that since the discovery of his medical problem he had been under constant medical care.
Careful of dengue
KUALA LUMPUR: Four deaths due to dengue were reported from among the 1,639 cases of the disease recorded so far this year in the KL city.The 1,639 cases were higher than the 1,447 recorded for the corresponding period last year.
The places regarded as active mosquito breeding areas in Kuala Lumpur included Cheras, Setapak, Kepong and Jalan Klang Lama
pls ensure that your residential area is free from dengue.
medicine & computer jokes
Good News
The doctor took his patient into the room and said, “I have some good news and some bad news.”
The patient said, “Give me the good news.”
“They're going to name a disease after you.”
Advantage of Jargons
A man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.
When the exam was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”
“Well, in plain English,” the doctor said, “you're just lazy.”
“Okay,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”
The Price of Choice
The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.” You have your choice of two brains,” he told the patient, “For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician.”
The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. “Is the brain of a politician that much better?” he asked.
The Brain Surgeon replied, “No, it's not better, just unused.”
Insurance Proceeds
A doctor had just bought a villa on the French Riviera, when met an old lawyer friend whom he hadn't seen in years, and they started talking. The lawyer, as it turned out, owned a nearby villa. They discussed how they came to retire to the Riviera.
“Remember that lousy office complex I bought?” asked the lawyer, “Well, it caught fire, and I retired here with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?”
The doctor replied, “Remember that real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds. It's amazing that we both ended up here in pretty much the same way.”
“It sure is,” the lawyer replied, looking puzzled, “but I'm confused about one thing – how do you start a flood?”
Organic chemistry
In a university, there were four students taking Organic Chemistry. They did so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester.
These four friends were so confident with the finals approaching that the weekend before, they decided to go down to the beach and party with some friends there. They had a great time. However, after all the hard partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Campus until early Monday morning - the morning of their final exam!
Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor AFTER the exam and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to do some research in the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tyre, on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they only just arrived now!
The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up their final exam the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied hard that night - all night - and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them.
He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin. The first problem was worth five points. It was something simple about free radical formation. "Cool," they all thought in their separate rooms, "this is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page.
Question 2 (for 95 points): Which tyre?
Latest in Viruses
Titanic virus.....Makes your whole computer go down
Disney virus....Everything in the computer goes Goofy
Mike Tyson virus......Quits after one byte
Woody Allen virus...Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card
Saddam Hussein virus....Won't let you into any of your programs
Spice Girls virus....Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop
Oprah Winfrey virus.....Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB and then slowly expands to 300MB
AT&T virus.....Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus.....Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back
bad luck
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear?" She asked gently.
"I think you bring me bad luck”