10 Methods of committing suicide

Method 1: Jumping Off
You will need:
* A good high building or cliff
* No regrets

1. Locate a nice high building or cliff to jump off of.
2. Go to the top.
3. Jump.
4. Do a flip.
5. Do a barrel roll.
6. Rinse.
7. Repeat.
8. Die

This method has a number of advantages. It's simple. It's dramatic. You can save on funeral costs and have yourself buried in a pizza box. On the other hand, if it's raining, your clothes will get soaked and your body will just wash down the drain.

Method 2: Complete Exsanguination

You will need:

* A sharp object. Razors, scissors, broken glass, or biting criticism all work
* A rafter or other high support
* A Rope

1. Using the rope, tie your ankles together so that you are hanging from the rafters in a head-down posture.
2. Grasp the sharp object in your hand, and draw it swiftly across your neck. Be sure to cut deep enough so that you get all four major blood vessels.
3. Make a puddle on the floor. Or use a bucket for the Red Cross. Or use a bucket for a local vampire bat family.
4. Admire your handiwork.

Anyone can kill themselves by slitting their wrists. A true artist goes for a complete exsanguination.

Method 3: Jumping off a Plane
You will need:

* Plane Ticket
* A red AIR ASIA cap

1. Make a Skydiving Reservation
2. Ignore instructor during flight
3. Refuse parachute and jump to your death
4. Optional: Aim for pigeons as you plummet to the earth
5. Optional: Wear a cape and a superman suit

For those of you that have never liked to listen to directions, this is an obvious choice. You get to your goal and continue your longstanding tradition of ignoring the words of others.

Method 4: Car Death

You will need:

* Some sort of motoring infrastructure such as a road with cars, trucks or buses

1. Find a speeding car.
2. Wait until the car is in range.
3. Walk in front of the car and watch as the car hits you.
4. You're dead, nothing to it.
5. Unless they swerve and kill someone else in the process. But, then you'll have even more reason to die! ^_^

This method is recommended for those people that loathe all the crass materialism involved with other suicide methods. Even the luxury of clothes is not required with this method.

Method 5: Suicide Bombing

You will need

* Atomic bomb
* A location where someone carrying an atom bomb won't look out of place.
* Religious tract of your choice. The Kama Sutra is a particularly good option, but you could also try the Book of Common Prayer or the Analects

1. Walk to a suitable street corner. Street corners are the proper place to do anything important.
2. Set up them the bomb.
3. Yell something incomprehensible in a foreign language. Some possibilities are "MA BITE EST EN FEU !" or "9時から布団4枚!!!"
4. Cover your testicles
5. Generate a mushroom cloud.

If you've ever wanted to have your passing remembered, this is the method for you. However, it is wise to make sure that before you blow yourself up you make sure people know who you are. You don't want someone else hogging all the glory, do you?

Method 6: Great White Shark

You will need

* A plane ticket to Hawaii, Australia, South Africa or other shark-infested waters
* Boat
* String
* Chum
* A bucket of blood
* Peterson's Field Guide To Sharks
* Life Jacket
* A sharp object (optional)

1. Find shark-infested waters. The Great Barrier Reef is perfect, but Hawaii will do.
2. Rent a boat and head offshore into deep water. Make sure you pack a life preserver and a whistle ency.
3. Pour some chum over yourself and a bucket's worth into the water.
4. Wait for the fins to appear- this is important! If you get in the water before the sharks appear, you may die of hypothermia before you get eaten.Hypothermia never makes page 1 in newspapers.
5. If you do not see any fins, cut your self and put your hand into the water. They should speed towards you.
6. This is where the field guide comes in- you want to make sure it's a great white that eats you. Death by blue shark just doesn't sound as cool.
7. When you see a big one, hop right in.
8. The shark does the rest.

Imagine how jealous the parents of that other kid are going to be! They'll open up the paper expecting a nice piece on little Johnny's suicide, but his OD will be a tiny blurb in the corner. Meanwhile, you get front page with your suicide-by-shark! Nobody will even go to his funeral- his friends will all be like, "Yeah, it's too bad. But this other dude- man, he got killed by a shark! I can't wait to see that. I hear it's open casket and you can see the bite marks and everything! I'm sorry to miss Johnny's wake, but how many times do you get to see a dude who's been gnawed in half by a shark?"

Method 7: Pop Rocks & Coke
You will need

* Coke, as many as possible
* Pop Rocks

1. First, you're gonna need to lie down, naked, on the couch.
2. Open the cokes and the pop rocks.
3. Put the packet of pop rocks in each of the coke cans.
4. Now pour it ALL over your body.
5. This should dissolve into your body and eventually, you fall asleep and die.

Method 8: Emotionally Disturbing Piano Wire Beheading

You will need

* Superglue
* Piano wire

1. Find a very tall building, overlooking a public place. Stand on top of it with lots of piano wire and some superglue.
2. Tie one end of a piece of piano wire 5 meters short of the ground to your ankles. Secure the other end to the top of the building.
3. Tie one end of a piece of piano wire 10 meters short of the ground in a lasso around your neck, so it can tighten when pulled. Secure the other end to the top of the building.
4. Glue your hands to your head so that you can't go back.
5. Jump!

The result: at 10 meters from the ground, the piano wire around your neck will tighten and slice your head off. Your head will, however, not fall because it is stuck to your hand. You will be found dangling upside down 5 meters from the ground with your head stuck to your hand.

And a record 45,099 people have killed themselves after witnessing a piano-wire suicide and the number just keeps rising. What a coincidence!

Method 9: Extreme Sexual Exhaustion

You will need

* Viagra
* Whores
* A Bed

1. First you will need to withdraw your lifesaving's (like you'll need it anyway) and run into the Pharmacy.
2. Take some time into selecting a perfect bed. Temperpedic is for the slow-go, while the spring mattresses will provide more bang for your buck.
3. Once you've picked your bed, take the ENTIRE bottle of Viagra.
4. Have sex and Do NOT stop until your heart has exploded.

Method 10: Overkill

You will need

* Gun
* Piano wire/Good rope
* Portable pool
* Sharks
* Tall Building
* A friend

This method is for those who have actually failed at failing. (And even if you do manage to bungle this sure fire method...well...it's still entertaining ;D.))

1. Find a very tall building, overlooking a public place.
2. Get to the roof. Remember, use the stairs, not the elevator. You don't want to die from a faulty elevator!
3. Tie a noose around your neck, and secure it to the building. Make sure the rope extends to the bottom, so you hit the ground and still break your neck. Alternatively, you may use the piano wire method above.
4. Get a friend to position a pool at the bottom, and dump the sharks into it.
5. Load the gun, and stick it inside your mouth.
6. Jump!

What will happen: The rope should kill you, ripping your head off as you hit the bottom. If the rope breaks, the fall would still kill you. If THAT doesn't work, you can still pull the trigger for the gun and blow your brains out. What? Still not dead? Then the sharks will eat you. This is recommended for Emos, who seem to be completely unable to kill themselves.

Ip Man 2 (2010) DVDRip with subtitle link

http://chi.videofriender.com/videos/0051/1026/Ip.Man.2.2010.DVDRip.XviD.AC3-ViSiON.avi

subtitle:http://www.mediafire.com/file/ydiylzvmw5z/Ip.Man.2.2010.DVDRip.XviD.AC3-ViSiON.English.srt

the movie is clear and the audio is good.watched and enjoyed it.

Funny sayings

One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me
"Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork"
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?
Don't follow me, I'm lost too
At least I don't care what those mindless people think of me
It's always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I've found it?
I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm just gonna ask where their going and hook up with them later
If at first you don't succeed skydiving isn't for you
Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them
Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.
I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
I'm here because heaven wouldn't take me and hell was afraid I'd take over.
Whenever you feel pissed off at someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way your a mile from them and you have their shoes.
Did you know Sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity?
Have seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it!
Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball makes a big hole in paper.
The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read in school about the wars that solved America's problems?
364 days of the years kids are told not to take candy from strangers, but on Halloween it's encouraged! Why is that?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Parents spend the first part of our lifes teaching us how to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Boys are like trees- they take 50 years to grow up.
How are the force and duct tape the same?- They both have light and dark sides and hold the universe together.
Never go to a doctor who's office plants have died.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.

~~10 Ways To Be S-T-U-P-I-D:

1. Ask For Directions To A Place Youre Already At.

2. Try To Order Pizza From McDonalds.

3. Get Hit By A Parked Car.

4. Try To Watch Saturday Cartoons On A Thursday.

5. Try To Sell Your Money.

6. Try To Play The Alphabet On The Piano.

7. Eat All You Can Eat At A Store.

8. Get Into A Fight With Yourself And Lose.

9. Try To Go Swimming Without Getting Wet.

10. Ask For Diet Water At A Restaurant

2010 Mother's Day quotes

All I am, or can be, I owe to my angel mother. (Abraham Lincoln)

My mother is probably the wisest person I’ve ever known. She’s not schooled, she’s not well read. But she has a philosophy of life that makes well-read people seem like morons. (Gene Simmons)

The older I get the more of my mother I see in myself. (Nancy Friday)

The interesting thing about being a mother is that everyone wants pets, but no one but me cleans the kitty litter. (Meryl Streep)

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. (Honore de Balzac)

My mother’s wonderful. To me she’s perfection. (Michael Jackson)

A mother’s arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. (Victor Hugo)

The mother’s heart is the child’s schoolroom. (Henry Ward Beecher)

Happy is the son whose faith in his mother remains unchallenged. (Louisa May Alcott)

My mother used to tell me, No matter what they ask you, always say yes. You can learn later. (Natalie Wood)

My mother told me not to mix around with KL people like vijaiyan. How sad.. (gopi)

Top 10 Ways to Be Happy at Work

1. Choose to Be Happy at Work
Happiness is largely a choice. I can hear many of you arguing with me, but it's true. You can choose to be happy at work. Sound simple? Yes. But, simplicity is often profoundly difficult to put into action. I wish all of you had the best employer in the world, but, face it, you may not. So, think positively about your work. Dwell on the aspects of your work you like. Avoid negative people and gossip. Find coworkers you like and enjoy and spend your time with them. Your choices at work largely define your experience. You can choose to be happy at work.


2. Do Something You Love Every Single Day
You may or may not love your current job and you may or may not believe that you can find something in your current job to love, but you can. Trust me. Take a look at yourself, your skills and interests, and find something that you can enjoy doing every day. If you do something you love every single day, your current job won't seem so bad. Of course, you can always make your current job work or decide that it is time to quit your job.


3. Take Charge of Your Own Professional and Personal Development
A young employee complained to me recently that she wanted to change jobs because her boss was not doing enough to help her develop professionally. I asked her whom she thought was the person most interested in her development. The answer, of course, was her. You are the person with the most to gain from continuing to develop professionally. Take charge of your own growth; ask for specific and meaningful help from your boss, but march to the music of your personally developed plan and goals. You have the most to gain from growing - and the most to lose, if you stand still.


4. Take Responsibility for Knowing What Is Happening at Work
People complain to me daily that they don't receive enough communication and information about what is happening with their company, their department's projects, or their coworkers. Passive vessels, they wait for the boss to fill them up with knowledge. And, the knowledge rarely comes. Why? Because the boss is busy doing her job and she doesn't know what you don't know. Seek out the information you need to work effectively. Develop an information network and use it. Assertively request a weekly meeting with your boss and ask questions to learn. You are in charge of the information you receive.

5. Ask for Feedback Frequently
Have you made statements such as, "My boss never gives me any feedback, so I never know how I'm doing." Face it, you really know exactly how you're doing. Especially if you feel positively about your performance, you just want to hear him acknowledge you. If you're not positive about your work, think about improving and making a sincere contribution. Then, ask your boss for feedback. Tell him you'd really like to hear his assessment of your work. Talk to your customers, too; if you're serving them well, their feedback is affirming. You are responsible for your own development. Everything else you get is gravy.

6. Make Only Commitments You Can Keep
One of the most serious causes of work stress and unhappiness is failing to keep commitments. Many employees spend more time making excuses for failing to keep a commitment, and worrying about the consequences of not keeping a commitment, than they do performing the tasks promised. Create a system of organization and planning that enables you to assess your ability to complete a requested commitment. Don't volunteer if you don't have time. If your workload is exceeding your available time and energy, make a comprehensive plan to ask the boss for help and resources. Don't wallow in the swamp of unkept promises.

7. Avoid Negativity
Choosing to be happy at work means avoiding negative conversations, gossip, and unhappy people as much as possible. No matter how positively you feel, negative people have a profound impact on your psyche. Don't let the negative Neds and Nellies bring you down.

8. Practice Professional Courage
If you are like most people, you don't like conflict. And the reason why is simple. You've never been trained to participate in meaningful conflict, so you likely think of conflict as scary, harmful, and hurtful. Conflict can be all three; done well, conflict can also help you accomplish your work mission and your personal vision. Conflict can help you serve customers and create successful products. Happy people accomplish their purpose for working. Why let a little professional courage keep you from achieving your goals and dreams? Make conflict your friend.


9. Make Friends
In their landmark book, First, Break All The Rules: What the World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently (Compare Prices), Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman list twelve important questions. When employees answered these questions positively, their responses were true indicators of whether people were happy and motivated at work. One of these key questions was, "Do you have a best friend at work?" Liking and enjoying your coworkers are hallmarks of a positive, happy work experience. Take time to get to know them. You might actually like and enjoy them. Your network provides support, resources, sharing, and caring.

10. If All Else Fails, Job Searching Will Make You Smile
If all of these ideas aren't making you happy at work, it's time to reevaluate your employer, your job, or your entire career. You don't want to spend your life doing work you hate in an unfriendly work environment. Most work environments don't change all that much. But unhappy employees tend to grow even more disgruntled. You can secretly smile while you spend all of your non-work time job searching. It will only be a matter of time until you can quit your job - with a big smile.

Making Of AVATAR (2009) m720p

http://chi.videofriender.com/videos/0047/0596/20b3022d2ebc0d74a6a7276edf0abace1230794a.mkv

Avatar (2009) DVDrip

http://chi.videofriender.com/videos/0050/0814/f46f4d8fc2d6f68fd78ecc78926f34445cee4d18.mkv

the watchmen

http://chi.videofriender.com/videos/0042/0559/f41dea4b2cbc6cff83f570409c483be7fb88ad09.mkv

revenge of the fallen bd rip

http://chi.videofriender.com/videos/0041/0495/4537cea32cc220f9824cd7062801f53fea83840d.mkv

the spy next door

http://chi.videofriender.com/videos/0051/1030/dmd-snd.avi

How to set up your own blog?

#1
Decide what the focus of your blog will be. If you have a special interest you love to spend time doing, this could be the focus of your blog. I blog about news, health and entertainment, but most people have a more specific focus, which optimizes earning potential if you're interested in making money on your blog.

#Step 2
Establish a blog by using Google "Blogger,http://www.blogger.com/. It's best to acquire a unique url as well so that your web address is a standalone presence. You can visit my blog at http://mamalado.blogspot.com/ to see what I mean. I use blogger, but I have a unique url which is my http://mamalado.blogspot.com/ address.

#Step 3
Once your blog address on the web is established, you're ready to post your first blog entry. Use a light, humorous, conversational tone; readers love a laid-back style and they love to laugh! Not funny? Add a 'joke of the week' or 'funny link of the week' to entertain your readers, or have them submit funny stories about your topic.

#Step 4
Write at least once weekly. Blog posts should range in word count from a few hundred words to NO MORE than 1000 words, which is actually pretty long for a blog post. Readers like short, interesting posts.

#Step 5
Spread the word! Send an invitation email to your friends and family and ask them to check out your new blog! Also, visit websites that are similar in nature to your topic and post a comment asking people to visit your blog. Use social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter or Myspace to promote your blog posts.

#Step 6
Make money! There are many ways to make money blogging- just Google those three words and you'll get a ton of results. One of the easiest ways to make money is to install Google Adsense, which is the little column of ads you see on the side of the screen while you're on a website. You'll need an account with Google to install this, but it's easy to use.

the book of eli 2010

go to mr john's blog for review: http://jmerb.blogspot.com/2010/03/movie-review-book-of-eli.html


http://chi.videofriender.com/videos/0048/0426/3194a5acc4a31eb3262b62e19a9c0842a8ad74f4.avi

blood type

mom

4 Years Of Age - My Mommy can do anything;
8 Years Of Age - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot
12 Years Of Age - My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.
14 Years Of Age - Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either
16 Years Of Age - Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned
18 Years Of Age - That old woman? She’s way out of date
25 Years Of Age - Well, she might know a little bit about it
35 Years Of Age - Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion
45 Years Of Age - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it
65 Years Of Age - Wish, I could talk it over with Mom

lost bike

Things that can't be done by women

Know anything about a car except its colour
Park
Read a map
Rob a bank
Sit still
Play pool
Eat food while walking
Argue without shouting
Get told off without crying
Walk past a shoe shop
Not comment on strangers clothes
Throw a punch
Do magic
Get to the point
Buy plain envelopes
Take less than 20 minutes in the toilet
Sit in a room for 5 minutes without saying " I'm Cold "
Go shopping without telephoning 20 friends
Avoid credit card debt
Assemble furniture
Set a video recorder
Not try change you
Watch a war film
Understand why flirting results in violence
Spend a day by themselves
Go to the toilet by themselves
Buy a purse that fits in their pocket
Get this far without having argued with at least 1 of the above

the list can continue further....

I went through the net for what guys cant do and I found only this.....
Man can't stop woman from asking why?
Men can't listen to women nag
Make a woman happy enough that she has nothing to complain about
they can't give birth(not true)
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/03/24/transgender-man-is-p.html
Men are such awesome creatures, but they can't understand the female mind
they can't do simple household stuffs

so guys can do almost anything...yeah!
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/03/24/transgender-man-is-p.html

10 ways to keep your brain sharp

1.Use brain sharpener
tease your brain using crossword puzzles, sudokus and other brain teasers actually keep your brain in shape, has not been well-established. However, lack of education is a strong predictor of cognitive decline. The more you've tried to learn, the better you'll be at mental sit-ups in old age. The key may be tackling something new; the challenge of the unknown is likely more beneficial than putting together the same jigsaw puzzle over and over again.

2.Skip supplements
Supplements have been getting a bad rap recently, with even the familiar multivitamin now looking like a waste of money -- or worse. Brain pills, such as ginkgo and melatonin, likely belong in the trash as well. Despite their "natural" origins, they are not free of potential side effects, such as high blood pressure, digestion trouble, fertility problems and depression. And among healthy individuals, ginkgo offers no brain benefits beyond that of a placebo.

3.Chill out
Stress takes a toll on the brain by washing harmful chemicals over the brain areas involved in memory. Some scientists suspect that living a balanced lifestyle and pursuing relaxing activities such as yoga, socializing and crafting may delay memory impairment by reducing stress. So no harm in being retarded sometimes by cracking out unnecessary jokes when we have serious situation. It can kill stress but make sure you don't get killed in the process.

4.Eat fish
Some theories credit the introduction of fish into the human diet with the evolution of our tremendous cognitive prowess. Essential fatty acids, such as Omega 3s, are critical to brain function and are proving beneficial for treating such brain-sapping ailments as depression. Studies on the efficacy of Omega 3 supplements, however, have had mixed results, so get doses from food sources, such as flax seeds, fatty fish and grass-fed animals.I will skip this one as I don't eat fish.

5.Enjoy your coffee
Growing evidence suggests a caffeine habit may protect the brain. According to large longitudinal studies, two to four perk-me-ups a day may stave off normal cognitive decline and decrease the incidence of Alzheimer's by 30 to 60 percent. It is unclear whether the benefits come from caffeine or the antioxidants found in coffee and tea, but that latte may improve cognition this afternoon and several decades from now. But coffee increases stress so try try to be retarded again to compensate the side effects.haha.

6.Get your beauty rest
When we rest and dream, memories are sifted through, some discarded, others consolidated and saved. When we don't sleep, a recent study found, proteins build up on synapses, possibly making it hard to think and learn new things. Furthermore, chronically sleeping poorly (in contrast to not enough) is linked to cognitive decline in old age, although the relationship may not be causal. Just don't sleep or day dream in class for the sake of following this advice.

7.Take care of your body
Largely preventable diseases -- such as Type II diabetes, obesity and hypertension -- all affect your brain, too. System-wide health concerns have been linked to an increased risk of cognitive decline and memory impairments. Keeping your circulatory system in working order, by, say, avoiding cigarettes and saturated fat, lessens the onslaught of age-related damage to the brain.Keep fit you fat guy( or girl: don't accuse me being a sexist)

8.Watch that diet
While overindulging can make the brain sluggish and lead to long-term detriments to your brain, too few calories can also impair brain function. Extreme dieting can cause some diehards to feel stretches of calm -- a feeling that may underlie the addiction of anorexia -- but many studies have also linked dieting with distraction, confusion and memory impairment.

9.Eat, eat, eat
Too much or too little energy throws a kink in the brain's delicate machinery. A low glycemic diet -- high fiber, with moderate amounts of fat and protein -- is broken down more slowly in the body than high glycemic foods, such as sweets and white starches. A steady pace of digestion in the gut gives a more reliable flow of energy to the brain, likely optimizing the organ's long-term health and performance.But follow rule number 8.

10.Do something!
Scientists are starting to think that regular aerobic exercise may be the single most important thing you can do for the long-term health of your brain. While the heart and lungs respond loudly to a sprint on the treadmill, the brain is quietly getting fitter with each step, too. For mental fitness, aim for at least 30 minutes of physical activity every other day.I am doing it.Are you?

Darwin Dynasty Cursed By Inbreeding

Charles Darwin's family suffered from the deleterious effects of inbreeding, suggests a new study that serves as ironic punctuation to the evolutionary theorist's life work.

Pioneer of the theory that genetic traits affect survival of both individual organisms and species, Darwin wondered in his own lifetime if his marriage to first cousin Emma Wedgwood was having "the evil effects of close interbreeding" that he had observed in plants and animals.

Three of their children died before age 10, two from infectious diseases. The survivors were often ill, and out of the six long-term marriages that resulted, only half produced any children. According to researchers at Ohio State University and Spain's Universidad de Santiago de Compestela, that alone is a "suspicious" sign that the Darwins suffered from reproductive problems.

Inbreeding can cause serious health problems, because it increases the chances of successful gene expression for diseases otherwise rare or muted in an individual's pedigree.

The new study, detailed in the journal Bioscience, fed genealogical data on the Darwin-Wedgwood link into a specialized computer program, which spit out a "coefficient of inbreeding," or the probability that an individual received two identical copies of a gene resulting from marriages among relatives. (Some genetic disorders are caused by recessive genes, which means they require two copies of a gene in order for the trait to manifest.)

Results revealed that inbreeding was a possible factor in the offspring's poor health. Darwin's children suffered from a "moderate degree" of inbreeding, the researchers concluded. When expanded to other branches of the family tree and four consecutive generations, the analysis found an even stronger association between child mortality and incestuousness.

Darwin's mother and grandfather were also Wedgwoods, and his mother's parents were third cousins.

The study relied solely on birth and death records. In the late 19th century it was still fashionable for wealthy families to intermarry over generations. As would be expected of prominent families, their genealogical records were also in excellent condition.

When genealogical records are not available, scientists interested in genetic heritage must rely on DNA and radiological analysis of bone samples - a type of research recently utilized for mummies.

In fact, this past February, an international team announced that a high degree of inbreeding was the likely explanation for boy pharoah King Tutankamun's early death and frail, club footed frame. And research published last year showed the termination of the Habsburg dynasty that ruled Spain for nearly 200 years may have been a result of frequent inbreeding.

so, get married with someone not related to you. interracial marriage is better. mamalado

short jokes

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
B: Ok
A: A white horse fell in the mud.

Man: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: I offer you myself.
Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts.
Man: I want to share everything with you.
Woman: Let's start from your bank account.

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!"

Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.

My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
So I asked him "What was the name of his other leg?"

A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Man said to God --- Why did you make women so beautiful?
God said to man --- So that you will love them.
Man said to God --- But why did you make them so dumb?
God said to man --- So that they will love you.

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, I but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.

"I was born in California."
"Which part?"
"All of me."

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!

PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?"
TEACHER:" Of course not."
PUPIL: "Good, because I haven’t done my homework."

5 'priceless' gifts for Mom

This Sunday is Mother's day. I am sure that all of you will have thoughts running in your mind on how to make the day special for your mum. Try to visit any store or mall, and you'll surely find something that will fit your budget and your mother's preferences. Indeed, it's not that hard to look for a Mother's Day gift nowadays.

This materialistic culture, however, was a far cry from what Anna Jarvis, the woman behind the official observance of Mother's Day in the United States.
She strongly opposed the commercialization of Mother's Day -from buying overpriced flowers to using printed greeting cards -stressing that the occasion should be "a day of sentiment, not profit.

It's nice to give something flashy and expensive to mothers on their special day. But truth be told, the best gifts you can give them are love, time and a big break with their families and the people they care for.
Overall, what mothers want is to be recognized. On this day, mom wants to know that you appreciate how much she does each day of the year.

There is no single, clear-cut way to show your mom that you mean the world to them, but here are 5 things that come really close:

A day of bonding

Time is one of the many valuable things in life that money can't buy, so try to skip work (or any other scheduled activity that you have) and stay home with your mom this Mother's Day.
Engage in her favorite activity, help her do household chores, share secrets and trade jokes.
Tell her how much you miss her and care for her, and sincerely thank her for all that she has done -- these will surely make her the happiest person ever.

A special meal

Surprise your mom by serving her breakfast, lunch and/or dinner -- whether in bed, at the dining area, or at the living room while she's watching tv.
Get to know what your mom likes to eat, and make it a point to research and practice cooking weeks before Mother's Day.
It doesn't really matter if you can't cook to save your life -- just the effort of a child to prepare a sumptuous meal is enough to make any mother beam with pride.

A day out of the kitchen

Treat your mom like a queen and give her a rest from cooking, cleaning and other household chores.
Let her savor the simple luxuries that only her children usually get to experience -- relaxing at home, eating delicious meals, and owning the remote control.
Doing these daily tasks in her place will make her feel more loved and appreciated -- also, it will give her more time to pursue her other passions.
She definitely wants some time for herself to ease those aches and pains -- both physical and mental.

A small indulgence

Every mom usually has cheap thrills -- whether it be a chocolate bar, a bag of seeds, or a pair of kitchen gloves.
Figure out what she wants and buy it for her, for a change. Then, treat it as a conversation piece -- try to understand why it makes her happy and get to know her more.
It may be very simple, but she'll greatly appreciate the effort.

A book of memories

Collect all your memories with your mom -- from photos to candy wrappers to gift cards -- and place them in a scrapbook.
Then, browse over it with her and the rest of your family. Relish all the good times you've spent together, and talk about your plans for the future.
Making her feel like she's an important part of your past, present and future will surely make her feel that she's the best mom ever.

It's clear what moms want -- your love and affection. This can be as simple as a heart drawn on a card or your child's handprints on paper...The bottomline is, whatever you do, if you do it with love, Mom will remember it forever.

I will go for a surprise visit to Ipoh. Lucky my mum don't read my blog. Spending time with her will definitely brighten her day. :)

Curfew or not

Recently, we came across the news about the government is planning to impose curfew for teenagers during night hours. For me, it is really a good idea even though it violates the human rights and receiving cold acceptance by some teenagers and irresponsible parents. How the parents know that the teenagers are not involving in bad activities even though they letting the parents know where they are during night hours?

What are we talking about human rights if the teenagers are not doing the right thing by going out at night where they are supposed to be home studying or relaxing at home? Tell me what is out there that is good for teenagers to be out up to 2 am? there are a lot of ways that they can wrongly indulge themselves into. clubbing, watching midnight shows and hanging out with friends are going to spoil them academically and socially.

I personally think that curfew should be made compulsory for all teenagers up to 18 years old from 9pm onwards.government should make it compulsory for the club owners and movie theaters not to allow this people to enter their premises at night.

No midnight shows anymore and less friends gathering in mamak stall will definitely help to curb the social problems among teenagers. gopi

what time is it?

A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two to sleep. As luck would have it, the quite place he chose happened to be one of city’s major jogging routes. No sooner he had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in a place.

“Yes?”

“Excuse me, Sir,” the jogger said, “do you have time?”

The man looked at the car clock and answered,”8:15”.

The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger.

“Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?”

“8:25!”

The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his windows saying, “I do not know the time!”

Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.

“Sir, it’s 8:45!”

memo

Memo to All Employees:
In order to ensure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T) .

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T) .

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T ).
Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T , you may be interested in a job teaching others.
We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).

For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION ( M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T) . This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING ( H.O.T.S.H.I.T ) .


Thank you.

BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T)


P.S.: Now send this S.H.I.T to 5 people who need S.H.I.T in their lives, just not the same person who sent you this S.H.I.T . I have already had my fill of S.H.I.T.

Thank you for your time!

Sincerely

The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training.
(The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T).

banta singh

BANTA SINGH & THE INTERVIEWER
Interviewer: What is your birth date?
Banta Singh : 13th October
Interviewer : Which year?
Banta Singh : ... EVERY YEAR


BANTA SINGH & HIS MANAGER
Manager asked to Banta Singh at an interview....
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Banta Singh replied: P-O-S-T-B-O- X

BANTA SINGH & LONDON TRIP
After returning back from a foreign trip, Banta Singh asked his wife, Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife : No! Why?
Banta Singh : In London, a lady asked me, "Are you a foreigner?".. that's
why ...
Wife : SHOCKED!

BANTA SINGH & TOURIST
One tourist from U.S.A.asked to Banta Singh whether any great man born in this village or not .. and Banta Singh said .. "No sir, only babies were
born here .. "

BANTA SINGH & HIS EXPERIMENT
Banta Singh was doing experiment with cockroach. First he cut it's one leg and told WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked.
Then he cut it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walk. Suddenly Banta Singh said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf. Banta Singh become a saint!

BANTA SINGH & DRIVER
When Banta Singh was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted mirror. Banta Singh shouted, "You are trying to see my wife ? Sit back. I will drive.

BANTA SINGH GOES TO HOTEL
Banta Singh went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing. Banta Singh pointed towards the board "WASHBASIN "

BANTA SINGH & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART
Interviewer : Just imagine your in 20th floor in a building, it caught fire and how will you escape ?
Banta Singh : It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination ..

Oh .. i forgot . the funniest part ..
On a political rally Banta Singh was arrested. Why ????????????
Because, a woman journalist walking with a badge wrote "PRESS" on her right chest ... and he did it !

funny pics

warning: boys joke

One spring day, a fish was swimming about a foot below the surface of a lake and saw a fly hovering just out of striking distance.

The fish said to itself, "If that fly comes six inches closer, I'll jump up and have myself a meal." Just then, a bear on the shore of the lake looked up and said to itself, " If that fly gets any closer to that fish, the fish will jump up, and I'll catch the fish and have myself a meal."

As luck would have it, a hunter saw what was happening. He thought to himself, "If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, and I'll shoot the bear."

Just then, a rat was standing behind the hunter saying to itself," If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, the hunter will lean over to shoot the bear, and I'll grab the sandwich from the back pocket of the hunter.

However, unbeknownst to the rat, a cat was observing everything and thinking, "If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will grab the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, the rat will grab the sandwich, and I'll snatch the rat."

At that very moment, the fly dropped a few inches, the fish grabbed the fly, the bear grabbed the fish, the hunter shot the bear, the rat grabbed the sandwich, the cat jumped, missed the rat and landed in the lake.

The moral of this story is:

If the fly drops six inches the pussy will get wet.

Doctors use gene sequence to predict health risks

LONDON – The next time Stephen Quake is prescribed a drug, he says he won't worry about having a bad reaction. The Stanford University professor will simply consult his genome to see if there are any warning signs in his DNA.

More than two dozen of Quake's scientist colleagues combed through his genetic code to assess his chances of heart disease, diabetes, cancer and how he might react to common medicines. The results were published Friday in the medical journal, Lancet.

It is an example of the kind of personalized medicine that might one day be possible if doctors have a map of their patients' DNA. Seven other people have had their genomes sequenced. Last year, Quake's genome was published in the journal Nature Biotechnology, before it was analyzed for health risks.

But as the gene scan becomes more widely available, experts warn interpreting the data may be trickier than obtaining it. "We need to get better at explaining what this information means for patients," said Euan Ashley, an assistant professor of medicine at Stanford and the Lancet paper's lead author.

For months, 30 scientists studied more than 2 million gene variants in Quake's DNA. They found genes linked with sudden cardiac death and others suggesting he might be resistant to the anti-clotting drug clopidogrel. Based on their findings, Ashley recommended Quake start taking cholesterol-lowering statins. Quake declined.

The research was paid for by the U.S. National Institute of General Medical Sciences, the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute and others.

When the first human genome was sequenced, it cost about $3 billion. Decoding Quake's genome cost around $50,000. Experts said the price of getting a complete genome sequence may drop to less than $1,000 in the next few years, tempting more people to get their DNA mapped.

Some experts said legislation might be needed to protect such sensitive information. "The genie is now out of the bottle," said Nilesh Samani, of the department of cardiovascular sciences at the University of Leicester. He was not connected to the genome research. "We need to think carefully about whether we need laws to prevent genetic information from getting into the wrong hands."

Muin Khoury, director of the National Office of Public Health Genomics at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, said it wasn't clear how genome sequences might help. "We simply cannot interpret ... the vast amount of emerging data," he said. "The current information is incomplete, uncertain, potentially misleading and could lead to unnecessary procedures," he said.

Khoury said that without a medical reason for getting a genome sequence, obtaining one was premature. "The relationships between our genome and most health and disease indicators are so far unknown or unvalidated," he said.

Quake also cautioned that getting a genome sequence isn't for everyone. "All you hear about when they talk about your genome is ways you're going to die and get sick. It doesn't tell you you're going to be happy or a great athlete," he said. "If you're a worrier, this is not for you."

Low Testosterone Raises Heart Death

THURSDAY, April 29 (HealthDay News) -- Among men with erectile dysfunction, those who also have low testosterone levels face a higher than normal risk of dying from cardiovascular disease, a new study has found.

In a second study, the same team of researchers also found a link between obesity and impairment of blood flow to the penis, which, in turn, is linked to cardiovascular disease in erectile dysfunction patients.

In the first study, researchers led by Dr. Giovanni Corona, of the University of Florence, examined the testosterone levels of 1,687 men seeking treatment for erectile dysfunction. After an average follow-up period of 4.3 years, 137 of the men had had a heart attack or other major heart problem, and 15 had died.

Those who had lower levels of testosterone were the most likely to die of heart problems, the study authors found.

"Our work shows that screening for testosterone deficiency in men with erectile dysfunction may help clinicians identify those at higher risk from cardiovascular events," Corona said in a news release from the European Society of Endocrinology. "However, at the moment we can't say whether low testosterone levels are the cause or the consequence of this higher risk."

A second study looked at the same group of men and found a link between clinical obesity, which means a body-mass index of greater than 30, and reduced blood flow to the penis. This reduced blood flow was significantly related to an increased incidence of major cardiac events, such as heart attacks, in obese men but not in leaner men.

The findings were scheduled to be presented at the European Congress of Endocrinology, held April 24 to 28 in Prague, the Czech Republic.

Does breastfeeding protect against asthma?

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) – Sticking to a strict diet of mom's milk during the first 4 months of life may reduce a child's risk of developing asthma by their eighth birthday, according to a new study.

"Breast milk is the optimal food for infants during the first months of life," lead researcher Dr. Inger Kull of the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden, told Reuters Health in an email. "But whether or not breastfeeding reduces the risk of asthma has been debated."

Through her milk, a mother transfers "good" bacteria, antibodies and proteins that can help thwart infection. But the evidence for how breastfeeding might influence the later development of asthma remains confusing, with various studies suggesting protective, neutral and even detrimental effects.

Kull and her colleagues decided to look into the relationship a little differently than previous studies. They followed nearly 4,000 Swedish children over 8 years, noting which received short- or long-term, as well as exclusive or partial, breastfeeding.

The team found that about 12 percent of children who were exclusively breastfed for at least the first 4 months of life developed asthma by age 8, compared with 18 percent of those breastfed for a shorter amount of time.

This translated into a 37 percent lower risk of asthma for those breastfed for 4 months or longer, after adjusting for other risk factors such as maternal smoking and birth weight.

The difference appeared to be driven mostly by allergy-related cases of asthma.

The extended and exclusive diet of breast milk also resulted in better lung function at age 8, the researchers report in the Journal of Allergy and Clinical Immunology.

Of course, not all mothers have the desire or ability to solely breastfeed for their child's first months. For these women, Kull suggests that even partial breastfeeding can somewhat reduce the risk of asthma.

But what about all the other conflicting research? Dr. Malcolm Sears of McMaster University in Ontario, Canada, led one of these studies. His team found that New Zealand children breastfed for more than 4 weeks actually developed more asthma later in childhood.

Sears says one possible explanation for his result is the "hygiene hypothesis" -- the theory that the increasingly germ-free surroundings of modern life are actually contributing to an increase in allergies and asthma.

"If you're absolutely protecting children from everything, and breastfeeding protects them to a certain extent, this may allow the immune system to switch to becoming allergic rather than fighting infections," Sears told Reuters Health.

He also suggested the possibility that while breastfeeding might initially increase the risk of asthma, if a mother keeps at it for a long time, the risk can be reduced again - even to the point where breastfeeding becomes protective. Interestingly, his study used an earlier cut-off between short- and long-term breastfeeding than the Swedish study.

Still, given the inconsistent findings, Sears cautions against using asthma protection as the motivating factor for breastfeeding. "There are 101 good reasons to breastfeed," said Sears. "Whether or not it protects you against asthma, you should choose to breastfeed for all the other good reasons."

Five minutes in the green can boost self esteem

LONDON (Reuters) – Just five minutes of exercise a day in the great outdoors can improve mental health, according to a study released on Saturday, and policymakers should encourage more people to spend time in parks and gardens.

Researchers from the University of Essex found that as little as five minutes of a "green activity" such as walking, gardening, cycling or farming can boost mood and self esteem.

"We believe that there would be a large potential benefit to individuals, society and to the costs of the health service if all groups of people were to self-medicate more with green exercise," Barton said in a statement about the study, which was published in the journal Environmental Science & Technology.

Many studies have shown that outdoor exercise can reduce the risk of mental illness and improve a sense of well-being, but Jules Pretty and Jo Barton, who led this study, said that until now no one knew how much time needed to be spent on green exercise for the benefits to show.

Barton and Pretty looked at data from 1,252 people of different ages, genders and mental health status taken from 10 existing studies in Britain.

They analyzed activities such as walking, gardening, cycling, fishing, boating, horse-riding and farming.

They found that the greatest health changes occurred in the young and the mentally ill, although people of all ages and social groups benefited. The largest positive effect on self-esteem came from a five-minute dose of "green exercise."

All natural environments were beneficial, including parks in towns or cities, they said, but green areas with water appeared to have a more positive effect.