Funny sayings

One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me
"Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork"
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?
Don't follow me, I'm lost too
At least I don't care what those mindless people think of me
It's always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I've found it?
I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm just gonna ask where their going and hook up with them later
If at first you don't succeed skydiving isn't for you
Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them
Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.
I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
I'm here because heaven wouldn't take me and hell was afraid I'd take over.
Whenever you feel pissed off at someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way your a mile from them and you have their shoes.
Did you know Sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity?
Have seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it!
Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball makes a big hole in paper.
The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read in school about the wars that solved America's problems?
364 days of the years kids are told not to take candy from strangers, but on Halloween it's encouraged! Why is that?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Parents spend the first part of our lifes teaching us how to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Boys are like trees- they take 50 years to grow up.
How are the force and duct tape the same?- They both have light and dark sides and hold the universe together.
Never go to a doctor who's office plants have died.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.