how to make your relationship healthy?

To make a relationship is very tough. It is not easy to get a partner you like and who likes you. Lot many factors are involved in a relationship. It is therefore important that a relationship is saved at every cost. Not only should the relationship be saved but also it should flourish. It should give pleasure to both the partners and give them a happy life. Here are some easy tips to have a healthy relationship.

1. Love
Love is the first need. We are not talking of infatuation but mature love. Love and care for each other nourishes life. Only when you love and care for your partner you will make efforts to go to extra mile to make the relationship work. Similarly if your partner shows no love for you, you will feel that the relationship gives you nothing. Love is most important.


2. Boundaries
A good relationship means that both the partners know about the boundaries of it. You may not want your partner to bother you about your work. Your partner should know when you feel bad. Similarly you should know about the boundaries you are not supposed to cross. Draw a list of dos and do not cross them.

3. Habits And Values
Partners in a healthy relationship have many common habits and values. Life goals, values, beliefs and, emotional drivers are common in a healthy relationship. If you are going to argue about every decision, because your goals and values are different, the relationship will suffer. Similarly, if what drives your emotions leaves your partner unaffected, you both will never satisfy each other emotionally. That will again make it an unhealthy relationship. If a sight of a beautiful waterfall moves you and your partner tells you that there is nothing great about that and that you should move on, you would surely hate yourself or your partner.

4. Kids
Only kidding....this can make or break a relationship so think carefully before going down this route!

how to make relationships last longer?

It is tiring to get into new relationships after every few years. Every relationship demands lot of work and understanding. It needs lot of adjustments. Relationships cannot be easily established, but they get broken easily. The results are disastrous for both the partners. How to have longer lasting relationships? That question needs to be addressed and answers found. Let us think about that.

To have a relationship that works, one has to work. Most of us take a relationship for granted once we reach a certain level of intimacy. We assume that we are regular partners. We forget to work on the rough edges and that dooms the relationship to your surprise.

There may be many differences between both of you. Your value systems may be different. Your political beliefs may be different. Your ideas about the future may be different. She/he might be looking forward to a childfree marriage whereas you might be planning for a home full of children. Your financial planning may be different. One may believe in saving while other overspends. Will the joint account work?


Sometimes, the woman may be earning more than the man and the man may have to work on the male ego to happily go along. It is true with women. She may like to boss around but her partner may be more dominating. She will have to work on both.

Every relationship is meeting of two individuals who have to love each other, accept each other and learns to live happily with each other. That requires work. Find out how you are different compared to your partner. Now find out if there is any way these differences may hurt the relationship. If yes, try to smoothen them.

Similarly keep alert about the values of your partner. Do not ignore them. Once you realize that there is a big gap between values, it is better to sit down and talk. If after that you find that the gap is wide, decide to breakup. It is important that relationship be broken rather than continued with huge differences. But if you know that your relationship can survive long, work on that.

All the effort will pay you back big time in future years!

what is love?

Most people who claim to love someone don’t really love them, because they don’t know what love actually is.
What is love NOT?

Possessiveness is not love
Jealousy is not love
Lust is not love
Fear is not love
Keeping people all to yourself is not love
Expecting something from someone is not love

Real love is unconditional. All other “forms” of love are not really love. Most parents and kids don’t love each other, most people in relationships don’t love each other, most people on the planet never experience unconditional love in their entire lives… or at least it sure looks that way.

To love someone unconditionally means that you love the person exactly as they are, exactly as they were before, and exactly as they will be in the future - because people change all the time, so if you love the person, you will love them even if they become something you disagree with. How many parents can say that about their kids? How many people can say that about their “lover”? Love is not about you or your pleasure or your amusement. It’s not about what you get out of it or what the other person can give to you. It’s not about having a trophy you can show off with and tell people “This is *MY* girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/son/daughter/whatever”. You do not “own” anyone. It’s not about you feeling ‘proud’ to be with someone who always agrees with everything you say and do and never does anything you disagree with. Unconditional love means that the person can just live their life exactly as they choose and you will always be there for them no matter what.

So, how does unconditional love fit in with relationships and marriage and sex and all that stuff the whole world keeps going crazy over? It doesn’t, really. It doesn’t “fit” in anywhere. Relationships are like trying to put love into a box and keep it there, except love is infinitely sized, and the box is… well, there is no box large enough. And a normal, conventional marriage is quite possibly the worst possible way to show someone how much you love them.

Unconditional love is more of a spiritual thing. It’s not bound by physical things, like blood relations and the desire to procreate. It has nothing whatsoever to do with sex. Most people are in relationships because they’re horny and/or lonely, even if they genuinely think they love the other person. But if the person they “love” suddenly lost their “equipment” for whatever reason, would they still want to be with that person? Would they get jealous if the person they “love” wanted to spend time with other people as well? Relationships based on needs are not unconditional.

In order to truly understand love, you must first forget everything you have ever learned about it from society and anyone else (including what I just said). You are the only person who can tell you what love is. The only reason I’m writing all this stuff is because people always try to fit “love” in with things like dating, relationships and marriage and all that. You can’t make any sense of it if you keep doing that. You have to get rid of everything you think you know first.