8 types annoying people in theatres

obviously we have all encountered these people at one time or another. Some of these people make it a habit to show up for every film. The 8 types of people you find in a theater are guaranteed to annoy the living shit out of you..and there’s not much you can do about it.
8. The person that sits next to you when other seats are available.

Seriously, I know I am not the only person that gets annoyed by this. There you are sitting comfortably next to your friends when all of the sudden some lonely “I came to the movies by myself and just want to sit by someone” douchebag who you never met, sits right next to you and kinda stays leaning in your direction. This person also hogs the armrest most of the time and can be seen conversing with the loud popcorn eater at various times. Seriously, pick a seat not so close to me and we can all get along. Unless you are a sexy and hot chick. That I am ok with.

7. The super loud popcorn eater.

Crunch, crunch, smack, crunch…! AAAHHH how annoying this is. This is particularly bad during the really quite parts of the film when something really important to the story is happening. All the while the only thing you can hear is that stupid crunch sound that infects every part of your ear canal. It doesn’t end there, wait until they reach into the bag after shaking it vigorously, then dig around a bit for the perfect handful. If you are next to me I will make sure and spill my coke on your brand new shoes.

6. A person that lives up to that “loud in the movie theatre” stereotype.


There you are enjoying Iron Man when all of the sudden you here, “Aw shit, that’s nonsense!” You know what I’m talking about. This person is usually not alone and is accompanied by at least 5-20friends who you seriously want to kick their ass but are too afraid of getting capped to speak up.

5. Repeats every catchy quote within seconds after it is said.

Oh the ever catchy a witty movie lines that end up on t-shirts, posters and the puns for numerous popular images across the web. Don’t get me wrong as most are freaking genius but I really don’t need it repeated over and over again till it’s old right after it begins. Do the world a favor and save it for the water cooler chat the next day. Better yet, slap that shit on a tee and make some money with that before the rich people get a hold of it!

4. Teenage girl that continually talks or texts.

Not much to say about this other than..beep,beep,beep, blah blah blah,, and more irrelevent chatter and sounds that makes me want to shove something in your mouth to keep you occupied for the next 90 minutes.

3. Your friend that’s seen it before and insists on letting you know when “something is about to happen”.

I bet you have one of these in your circle. I know I do and it really pisses me off! This person obviously gets a a kick out of it for some off reason or another. Did you not get enough attention as a child? I’m all for a few subtle hints but don’t give away the whole plot in the first ten minutes. Next time I will leave you to drink at home by yourself.

2. That little brat behind you that keeps bumping the back of your chair

Your child must have just gotten out of karate and you stupidly decided to see a movie at the last minute. Why do parents insist on bringing these children to the theater late at night? Hey honey I got an idea. Lets take our kids to a crowded theatre at 9pm, fill them with all kinds of delicious sugar filled goodies, and hope they stay in one spot long enough to give me a break from the reality that my life no longer belongs to me. Too bad you can’t just turn around and give the little shit the kicking it deserves. Or maybe you should kick the irresponsible parent.

and the winner is…..
1. The crying baby

Have you ever heard the sound a train makes at 2am when you are trying to sleep? Well it’s kind of like that but worse. At least the train rolls by and keeps on moving. Why do parents think it is a good idea to bring an infant to a movie? I do not really understand why this happens all the time.

amazing pencil drawings

believe or not? It is true

1. Guys like their gadgets & bikes more than a girl.
2. Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
3. When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
4. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about .
5. When a guy really likes you, he’ll disregard all your bad characteristics.
6. Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.
7. Guys will do anything just to get the girl’s attention.
8. When you touch a guy’s heart, there’s no turning back.
9. When a girl says “no”, a guy hears it as “try again tomorrow”. … so true.
10.You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
11.Guys love their moms.
12.A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
13.A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn’t mean that the guy likes her.
14. You can never understand him unless you listen to him
15. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime….He really does
16. Beware Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can
17. Like Eve, girls are guys’ weaknesses
18. Guys are very open about themselves
19. It’s good to test a guy first before you believe hi..But don’t let him wait that long
20. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty.Even a small dot
21. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they’re not that much pretty
22. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to hi…You don’t need to give advice ..very true
23. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you
24. Guys  keep secrets that girls tell them
25. Guys think too much
26. Guys fantasies are unlimited
27. Girls’ height doesn’t really matter to a guy but her weight does! ..very true
28. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive…So watch out girls!!!
29. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls
30. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes
31. If a guy says you’re beautiful, that guy likes you
32. Guys hate girls who overreact
33. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.

Right to left

A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns
from his Middle East assignment.
A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East,
I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch
as Cola is virtually unknown there.
But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic.
So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters...
First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand...
Totally exhausted and panting.
Second poster, the man is drinking our Cola and
Third, our man is now totally refreshed.
Then these posters were pasted all over the place"
"That should have worked," said the friend.
The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic,
I also didn't realise that Arabs Read from Right to Left..."

leave

So you want the day off? Let's take a look at what you are asking for....

There are 365 days per year available for work.

There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.

Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available.

You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break. That accounts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available.

With a one hour lunch period each day, you have used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.

You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days available for work.

We are off for 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days.

We generously give you 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be Damned if you're going to take that day off!!!

SICK LEAVE POLICY

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
SUBJECT: SICK LEAVE POLICY

SICKNESS:
No excuse...We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof. We believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.


AN OPERATION:
We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may need an operation. We believe that as long as you are an employee here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for.


DEATH:
Other than your own:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for them, and we are sure that someone else can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently let you leave 1 hour early, provided your share of the work is ahead enough to keep the job going in your absence.

Your own:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as we feel it is your duty to train your replacement.


ALSO:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with "A" will go from 8:00-8:15, and so on. If you're unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes again.

We appreciate your cooperation,
THE MANAGEMENT

BOSS JOKE

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's going to make it.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

job application

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: RM185,000 a year. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be THE BEST INVESTOR IN MAGNUM 4D.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

HATE letter

Read this "HATE letter". It is so funny and creative. This is a loveletter from a boy to a girl.... However, the girl's father does not like him and want them stop their relationship......and so..the boy wrote this letter to the girl..he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter..

1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."

So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11.13.15.17.19.21.23.25. (Odd Numbers) So..Please try reading it again! It's so smart & sweet....

funny thumb drives

USB memory sticks are always nice to have around when transferring files from computer to computer. These sticks from OOOMS are made to stand out from their natural environment of computers and offices. The sticks are picked from the woods and are individually selected for their natural beauty, and then professionally handmade into unique and personal USB memory sticks.


each finger is freshly cut and removed from the local morgue (no, not really....well.....maybe) and equipped with 1gig of memory. These things are very realistic in appearance and feel.but for me totally weird.


sushi anyone?


The USB pendrive memory in the form of typical wooden clamp. It can be easily fastened to clothes, thus forming an amusing decoration both for women and men. This item combines both tradition and modernity and such combination was an important consideration during design phase.


Whilst the amount of beer inside this Budweiser USB flash drive won’t exactly get your merry, it is a novel idea.
Now if they had filled it with whisky or some other more potent alcohol it might we worth getting, but as it stands it’s just another fun USB flash drive.


anyone wants to pretend to be a kid?


This lipstick-shaped flash drive features the plug-and-play capability. It requires no driver. Besides the eye-catching look, there is a lot to like about this thumbdrive, including the portability, high-speed data transmission, the support for encryption. In addition, the unit is antimagnetic, shockproof, dampproof, heat and cold resistant in light of the ABS exterior.


cute and funny


That annoying guy three cubes down want the same files you’ve already emailed him 30 times? Pull the plug on your grenade and fling it into his cube. It won’t blow up, but at least a grenade to the head might make him reconsider the next time he wants to bug you about something…


not so yummy donut...

Scrap Metal Transformers Sculpture Is Uber Cool

Made by the guys at RoboSteel, an Irish company specialized in creating artistic sculptures out of scrap metal, this Optimus Prime replica is the best ever.

Characterized as “the most amazing steel sculpture ever created by RoboSteel” this Optimus Prime sculpture is made of over 5,000 recycled steel parts, collected from a car, a boat, a motorbike, a dishwasher, a television and others. It’s 2.5 meters tall and weighs an impressive 550 kilograms.

Recycled Optimus Prime has been coated with several layers of strong, protective lacquer, and all the sharp edges were removed. Now it’s ready to guard your home against Decepticons, provided you’re willing to fork out 5,500 euro for it. It may not be as big as the Transformer drying laundry in Taiwan, but it definitely looks better.

Top 10: Ways To Be A Real Man (only for man)

No.10 - Learn to talk the talk

If you're tired of your thoughts falling on deaf ears, ameliorate your speech with as much literature as you can eyeball. Novels, biographies, magazines, and newspapers will help you build a more developed vocabulary.

No.9 - Get the news

Short of reading the news, there is a lazy man's solution: watch news channels. The talking heads that feature prominently on 24-hour news networks are typically very polished and have a superior command of the language you'd like to speak better. Listening to them frequently will help you do just that.

While you're at it, forget lame catchphrases like "it's all good," "don't go there" and "you da man"/ "dei macha" from your vocabulary altogether. These buzz sayings had a place in the pop culture lexicon of the late '90s, but have since been exhausted by mall rats and MTV VJs.

No.8 - Develop your voice

While the tone and pitch of your voice are mostly out of your control, we have it on good authority that a squeaky voice isn't an aphrodisiac. If you tend to hit the high notes, try imitating Harrison Ford and Clint Eastwood. Now those guys can talk.

No.7 - Hit the gym

Maintain some level of physical fitness. Don't have the time to be a chiseled underwear model? Who does? You don't need all that tone and bulk to be her Adonis. Sticking to a workout program designed by somebody who spends their days racking your weights will make you look better in clothes -- the first step in getting a woman out of hers. Furthermore, your general disposition will surge as endorphins are released through routine exercise. Your performance on the job, in the bedroom and wherever else you do your thing will also get a boost because of increased motor coordination and mental clarity. There are no downsides to being physically fit except for the discipline required to maintain it.

No.6 - Foot the bill

When on a date, always insist on picking up the tab. Despite a feeble grab for her Kate Spade purse, she really has very little intention of paying. This delicate scenario is best handled with just three clutch words: "I got it."

No.5 - Forget the past

Don't inquire about your girlfriend's past. That kind of knowledge could send you into a tailspin of doubt and jealousy. No matter who she is, there are skeletons in her closet. Want to know about the time four frat boys ran a train on your special little angel? Didn't think so. Refrain from broaching the subject altogether and concentrate on what really matters: you and her in this moment.

No.4 - Don't write anything

Love letters? Big mistake. Women want men, not carbon copies of themselves.

No.3 - Drink hard

drink like a man.

No.2 - Shake (hands) with authority

Your handshake gives you away. So what does yours say about you? Firm and assertive or weak and submissive? Never has a first impression faux pas been more telling than interlocking hands with a dead fish. Right away your future employer or father-in-law will be left to wonder if there is any substance behind that loosey-goosey grip.

No.1 - Look 'em in the eye

If etiquette were a family, then eye contact would be the first cousin to the handshake. Not maintaining it is equivalent to a confession of guilt. No one will actually come out and accuse you of being culpable, but if you can't look somebody directly in the eye, they'll reason that you have something to hide. You may be of the noblest intentions, but if you can't stand cornea to cornea with a man, your integrity will be in doubt.

Lay any objections to rest by making a strong handshake and knowing gaze your standard operating procedure

Things Not To Say

Things to Never Say to a Policeman
1. You accept cash or credit card?
2. Do you know why you pulled me over?
3. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a police officer.
4. Can I pay you in installments. I am a student.
5. Why you stopped me? I am paying your salary!
6. Are you the guy from Terminator 2?
7. Hey, you must've been doing' about 125 km/h to keep up with me. Good job!
8. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. I was trying to keep up with traffic. I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
11. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

Things to Never Say to a Woman During an Argument

Whoa, time out. Football is on.
Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?
Don't you have some laundry to do or something?
You are so cute when you get mad.
Wait a minute - I get it. What time of the month is it?
You sure you don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one?
Looks like someone had an extra bowl of bitch flakes this morning!

Things not to be said to parents during college years
Hey dad, are there any openings at your office?
I'm converting!
I don't know, I think a nipple ring is very fashion conscience.
Who are you again?
Mom, you too can be saved.
I need more money for my gambling ring.
From now on, you'll call me Mohammed.
I'd love to talk to you, but I have more important things in my life to do.
Is it possible to get a 12-year old girl pregnant?
Hey mom, you know how you and dad got married at 20, well...
This is my home away from home. I have new friends, and a family here with two kids and - um, forget what I just said.
And I joined a political party!
I just can't take it anymore. The pressure! The Pressure! Aaaaaaaaaaah! (Click)
Mom, send me some neosporin. I seem to have a lot of cold sores.
When are you coming to visit! I really want to see you!

Things Not To Say On Your First Date...
I used to come here all the time with my ex.
I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.
Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.
I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.
It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.

Things Not To Say During Childbirth....
Gosh, you’re lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.
Do you think the baby will come before Monday Night Football starts?
If you think this hurts, I should tell you about the time I twisted my ankle playing basketball.
That was the kids on the phone. Did you have anything planned for dinner?
When you lay on your back, you look like a python that swallowed a wild boar.
You don’t need an epidural. Just relax and enjoy the moment.
Oops! Which cord was I supposed to cut?
Stop your swearing and just breathe.
Your stomach still looks like there’s another one in there.

Top Ten Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate

10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."

9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.

8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!"

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk to your wall. All of a sudden, act offended, throw something to the wall and kick it. Refuse to tidy things up, explaining, "No, I want to watch the wall suffer in pain."