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July 16, 2010

how to make relationships last longer?




It is tiring to get into new relationships after every few years. Every relationship demands lot of work and understanding. It needs lot of adjustments. Relationships cannot be easily established, but they get broken easily. The results are disastrous for both the partners. How to have longer lasting relationships? That question needs to be addressed and answers found. Let us think about that.

To have a relationship that works, one has to work. Most of us take a relationship for granted once we reach a certain level of intimacy. We assume that we are regular partners. We forget to work on the rough edges and that dooms the relationship to your surprise.

There may be many differences between both of you. Your value systems may be different. Your political beliefs may be different. Your ideas about the future may be different. She/he might be looking forward to a childfree marriage whereas you might be planning for a home full of children. Your financial planning may be different. One may believe in saving while other overspends. Will the joint account work?


Sometimes, the woman may be earning more than the man and the man may have to work on the male ego to happily go along. It is true with women. She may like to boss around but her partner may be more dominating. She will have to work on both.

Every relationship is meeting of two individuals who have to love each other, accept each other and learns to live happily with each other. That requires work. Find out how you are different compared to your partner. Now find out if there is any way these differences may hurt the relationship. If yes, try to smoothen them.

Similarly keep alert about the values of your partner. Do not ignore them. Once you realize that there is a big gap between values, it is better to sit down and talk. If after that you find that the gap is wide, decide to breakup. It is important that relationship be broken rather than continued with huge differences. But if you know that your relationship can survive long, work on that.

All the effort will pay you back big time in future years!

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